Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Murky

So I was falling asleep amisdt blue night stars glistening, sitting with intention at the river, with my leafy viney friend, the physical pain, who was wrapped around the little girl, the one who still hurts a lot.  I let them know it was ok, and there was a ritual afoot.

But --- mainly, within the dream it all came down to the one moment I expelled a phlegm of some sort from my mouth and nose.  I noticed it was dark, murky rich Green.  And I remembered my chinese medicine, the liver, the gall bladder, wood and anger, jealousy and hard qualities, darkness....and also remembered that the darker it is, the better it is, because it means it's coming OUT.  Disgusting a visual as this is, it made me very happy.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Three Point Turn

And so the rise and the fall, again.  I thought I had escaped the dark pod, and I did, but I forgot to shut the door.  "The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you".  I wish your mind was still sitting patiently in the sun, in the stands watching the tennis, DFW.  You were right.

It's a pretty obvious plot.  I am driving, but have left the main roads, and am lost in a village of which I do not know.  Soon, the car chugs along up a hill, and the tall grasses, weed like and exotic, are all stacked up in the floor of the car, as I move deeper into the seeming abyss.  But it is not an abyss at all, just a patch of deep greenery in an unknown place.  I fear for a moment, that there are strange creatures living in the vines, and now in the car with me.  But I let that go, and I make a very sharp, but slow and calculated three point turn, as I see locals and their lands watching me do so.  Calm, and assured, the car is turned around, and back down the hill I go to wherever is next, and meant to be.


Sunday, September 25, 2011

Shutterlight in, out

There is ADD in the dreams of late - many, many of them, and just no time to tell them all.

There is a house, in a tropical setting, yet familiar, on a hill.  Outside in the garden there is surprisingly,  a massive serpent.  He is heavy, golden and brown, and there is immediate fright, but also there is the feeling that he is there as a benevolent force.  Bloated, strong, and protective.  People come up to the house via the hill right past him, and they are amazed by his presence, but he does not move to hurt them.  I'm starting to realize he is my friend, and neither my good grace or my worst habits.  He watches without judgment and will be there as my strength and empathy - silent - until the end of the cycle.

I am asleep, but aware of it.  I'm on the table, and the healer is there working around the skin of my left arm, and, as my eye twitches, my heartbeat becomes strong in that left arm, and he kisses my arm and my neck and climbs onto me, on the table.  Benevolence, thankfulness, sex liberated and the ultimate weightless feeling of what healing can and will do, if you let him.

Driving erratically, out of control per usual, but still carting along my favourite family, yet roads are closed, and I cannot tell which direction to go, or which lane I should follow down.  Going up stairs at the wheel, he turns around and shows me the missing piece and says "I don't feel this comfortable with other people to show them this".  I accept it, of course, and keep driving.  Then, a big show and to do seems to be where we were going.  I need a new dress.


Thursday, September 22, 2011

Thru Crossing

The wanderings of the (my) collective unconscious have hit a bit of a roadblock, but doing splendid up to recently.  Real life has suddenly got very interesting again.  Like a giant heavy weight is gone.  But, there are still paranoia dreams of lost jobs and impossible school schedules, and people very openly trying to knife me, with surgical knives now and again.  But, the difference is, I am very adeptly avoiding getting hurt or killed or maimed, taking the knives out of their hands, but also wondering is it them there to slice me open for my own good, and let even more of myself out.  Either way, I like that they are standing there, plain as day in the open air and not hiding from me anymore.  We are working together now, and exposed, naked, drunk or bleeding, I'm alive.  More than ever.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Until We Meet Again


Hey there.  So, I tend to blame you for lots of what's wrong with me, credit you as the one who made me as deviantly blessed and selflessly liberated as I am, and recognize that you were there in the place when I lost my whole world, and as I've said, to myself, before, I'll never forget that.  Still, it's been a Long time and I think I've closed the old door numerous times and months (possibly years) back.  Was just really...surprising and interesting to see you again like that in my dream.

You looked like you always did, and it came off as some kind of "just ran into you" meeting.  It wasn't a bad feeling, nor was there any embracing.  I seem to think we went to a bar and talked a bit over some drinks....the hows and whys, the past and other things I can't put into words which were communicated in that dreaming language that moves too fast for ours- too far in from the depths of, I suppose, me (they say everyone is a facet of you in the dream, don't they?).  Still, we didn't talk of our lives now, and there were no angry words or tears, old feelings or frustrations...it just was pretty clear that we needed to do this, and we said goodbye on this plane, catching up on the time continuum that I thought was running pretty smoothly over on this side of things.  And, that was it.  No image of either of us walking off, a casual and good natured feeling of completion was all that remained.

I wasn't expecting this, nor did it rattle my feathers any.  It was pleasant, familiar, and was delivered solely to my door (bed) after I looked the harvest moon straight in the eye sometime around the witching hour.  It must have seen that act as a direct summoning of something, and I was happy with what I got.  I woke up on this celestial birthday of my celestial father (80 in human years) easy, tired, and all around myself.  It was mad, grand, dirty, a hard lesson and fun to know you.  Take care, now.  Keep dreaming.

Monday, September 12, 2011

I'm Still Here!

This sums up my dreams of late better than the actual forked remembrances of where and how and cuts to the heart of the why, so why not.


Saturday, September 10, 2011

Crow 9.9.11

Many, many dreamscapes one after the other, back and forth. Most notably, I was back in Croatia seeing my little cousin Sara and asking her about the ring from Ireland which we lost in Ivo's car. She had tried it on and said with her lovely voice "is beeeaaauuuuutiful", the celtic knot ring, one of two I had worn since Ireland. I was happy it was in the car and said when she finds it, its hers. She said in the dream that no they didn't find it yet. Then it was as if I was staying in Ireland instead. My room like a room in a damp old castle, secret doors etc...lots of activity going on otherwise, unseen. It was haunted and I was trying to get the woman there to believe me. I played (3rd person) a clarinet of sorts to summon the spirit, but it only worked when my black cat Aleister summoned them, on a kids version of the clarinet, rags tied to it blowing in the wind. There was a great sound, a presence in the light coming from the bathroom, and the prints of crow's feet. And there was a crow. A messenger, not of death but trying to give me, well, a message. Not enough time to get the meaning this time. Later on in the dreams, I am gliding through my waterfront and then on the highway and over the hill is a big new ferris wheel, and I wonder where I am or whether the ferris wheel is newly built or if always it has been there. Either way, it makes me happy.

Friday, September 9, 2011

The Getaway 9.6.11

I woke up in a Jeep familiar, as if made to sleep in the back seat and realizing where I was, I looked around in the car, but nothing of note – it was afternoon on a very sunny Fall Saturday, and though it was seemingly at the owner's house, it looked like my house when I was a teenager in cold spring. I found his phone in the back seat of the car, and thought I shouldn’t have it, and probably not sure how I found myself here, but it was “beyond my control”. I cleaned up the emails on the phone, deleting crap spam but then thought he'd know I had his phone, but seems it was there to begin with, so again not my doing. I looked up to the yard to the left of the house and the leaves were changing, yellow and red in the sunshine, and somehow I “knew” that he were still asleep, drunk and that when he woke up he’d tell me why he left me in the car at his house and went to sleep. In one of those dream flashes, then he was in the car, with DFW in the driver’s seat (note: car now w/o top) and I was trying to hide myself on the rocky hill to the gorge (this is again the description of my house in cold spring) but it was loaded up with stinky, old garbage/bags and I tried to move past them, but they were crawling with ants and that wasn’t fun at all, wiping ants from the garbage off of my bare legs...so I walked down the dirt hill to the main road, as I knew where I was going, but they saw me, followed me and said I didn’t have to walk and I should get in the car. I think I did, because I heard the voices of some doldrums from work near the bridge on the corner so we left, DFW silent at the wheel. Wonder where we ended up.

Welcome Back to the Gypsy Ship (sort of)


Sort of, indeed.

If there is anyone out there that wishes to read anything written between 6/3/2010 and today/ongoing, do please visit:

http://rosebudburns.blogspot.com/

where I write under M. Lucia....a lot of posts in the beginning were taken off of this blog, but there is far more new material so that's what the Ship of Gypsy has been up to. Being a writer again (and god willing never again not), and Myself.

For now, I'm at work on some mystical documenting as is found in dreams, and, since I originally stated that this place was for ".......writing, rambling, drunken scrawling (usually on arms), forgotten memories and fantasies", why not piece together the constellations of my dreaming life to try and figure out this one just a bit better.

I am aided by the occasional use of an herbal blend of many sleep, dreaming, shamanistic extracts, a full heart and sometimes full belly of wine.

It's been said dreams are what show YOU to You, so strap me in and shut the lights, play the songs and open all doors, here I am.

As was in the beginning- If *I* fall off the ship, I can't be held responsible.
Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

Enjoy the nocturnal ride.

Mimi